tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4999570460832692491.post7544246934698112520..comments2021-03-06T14:39:36.722-07:00Comments on Disordered Identity: Funerals and FamilyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4999570460832692491.post-70955811040163121402009-09-17T11:03:45.072-06:002009-09-17T11:03:45.072-06:00Family gatherings always push these issues to the ...Family gatherings always push these issues to the fore in my mind too, especially since almost none of them know I'm gay. Then when we're apart, it stops being an issue again. Since I see them so rarely, it's no surprise that I haven't made any advancements on that front.<br /><br />Like Heidi said about the letter, it doesn't have to be perfect. They're not going to be judging you on your writing, and honestly once they hit the part where you tell them you're trans, they probably won't even remember reading the rest. So maybe short and simple would be best, covering just the basics with the promise to talk about more when they're ready. <br /><br />I want to be cremated too. The idea of being preserved and buried is just weird. I haven't decided where I want my ashes scattered yet, but it will probably end up being a beach. As for the funeral, I believe that funerals are for the living. So they can do whatever they want which best help them cope with their grief.Tysonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15129567371431080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4999570460832692491.post-71874544156877370782009-09-17T03:47:45.284-06:002009-09-17T03:47:45.284-06:00Long thoughtful comment = good comment. =P
With r...Long thoughtful comment = good comment. =P<br /><br />With regards to the segue between grandma and coming out to my family - no, I don't think it's because part of me is dying. Part of me IS dying, in a way, but I'm dealing with that separately, and it is definitely offset by the excitement of finally getting to know other parts of me. More on this later, I'm sure. =)<br /><br />A small contributor to the association is that my gradma dying forces me to consider my parents' mortality, and in turn my own, but mostly, it's because this was only the second or third time this year that I've seen the majority of my family. If I saw them more often, I'd probably have a lot more opportunities to just blurt it out during a high moment, like I've done with so many other people. =/ViviBluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16008502109989589868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4999570460832692491.post-38414808170279258442009-09-16T20:50:17.498-06:002009-09-16T20:50:17.498-06:00This made me think about what I'd like my fune...This made me think about what I'd like my funeral to be like too...When my cousin died last year it was really hard because he was only 30 but his funeral was so great because it was a sharing of great memories with him and afterward we all toasted with a 7 & 7...hi favorite drink...it was great...if that is a term to even be associated with funerals. I don't know that it is possible to fathom what you are going through with the trans revelation to your family...the only thing I can relate it to is when I had to tell my parents that I was getting divorced...but I don't think it is the same at all. I hope that they will read your letter (which doesn't need to be perfect!) and give you a big hug and ask any questions they have and then ask if they can help! I think it<br />s interesting how you mentioned that in reference with your grandmothers death...do you feel like part of you is dying (is that a weird question to ask? if so sorry) with this transition? Ok, longest comment ever...shutting up now! Good luck with everything my friend :)Heidi in the makinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03332630700098889540noreply@blogger.com