Control Issues

"All the people slip away,
Despite connections I have formed.
In my struggle to be human,
I feel more and more deformed."
-- System Syn, Beneath the Sand

I've escaped my shackles only to find myself in a larger cage.

I'm supposed to feel less anxious, damnit!

It's been almost a year since I put the pieces together and realized what they meant. Eight months since I told anyone else. Seven months since I started doing something about it, and since then I have done a lot.

I tell myself that these are relatively short time periods, and I am honestly very proud of myself for continuing to do what I know is right for me. I feel elated with the progress I've made, and that's exactly the problem.

The Story so Far

"When everything is going wrong,
And you can't see the point in going on,
Nothing in life is set in stone,
There's nothing that can't be turned around."
-- Garbage, Androgyny

Hi! I'm 27 years old, I live in Utah, my favorite color is blue, and I am transgender.

To give you the basics, I was born physically male, and while I don't think that I truly identify with either "traditional" gender role, I feel more female than male internally. I will not ask you to agree with this. All I ask is that you keep an open mind and make as few assumptions as possible, and I will gladly answer any questions you have. Questions, as I've really learned in the past few months, can be a great sign that people care.